How to Suggest Using a Vibrator in the Bedroom
We’re all about good vibes only — literal vibrations, that is.
While couples commonly use vibrators together during sex, a vibrator can jazz up your sex life in more ways than one.
Vibrators aren’t just for people with a clitoris, either. Your penis can benefit from some vibrational stimulation, too.
Adding a vibrator into the mix — whether you’re solo or partnered up — isn’t just for pleasure, though it can definitely make your ‘O’ more intense. It might even improve erectile function (yes, seriously) and boost sexual performance.
But, according to one review of studies, less than half of men incorporate vibrators into their sex lives. (Queue sad face emoji.) It’s more than you might have expected, but clearly, lots of dudes are missing out.
Now that you know better, grab that pink vibrator from the drawer — because it’s not just for the ladies, guys.
Below, we’ll dig into whether men can use vibrators during sex (spoiler alert — they totally can!) and go over the benefits of “vibing” in bed.
New to the exciting world of vibrators? You might also find our vibrator tips useful, including suggestions on how to introduce the idea of vibrators during sex with your partner (or partners).
Alright, let’s get it on.
Can Men Use Vibrators During Sex?
Heck yes!
Girls just wanna have fun — and they definitely can if they have a little sexy helper in their bedroom drawer. Vibrators come in all shapes and sizes, and you probably associate them with female masturbation.
But boy, are we about to rock your world.
Vibrators aren’t just for people with vulvas. Your penis can benefit from vibrating sensations, too.
Introducing them into partner play can benefit everyone involved — including better sex, thanks to some pleasurable foreplay and a resulting stronger ‘O.’
Interested? We thought so. If all this sounds like a fun time, read on to learn more about how using a vibrator might help you achieve a better, healthier sex life.
Benefits of Using Vibrators for Men
Bzzzzzzzzzz. That’s the sound of a vibrator going off. And it sounds like pleasure.
(But for the record, vibrators vary in terms of noise, so if you’re looking for something discreet, there’s a vibrator out there for you.)
Okay, so why should you consider adding this new sex toy to your bedroom routine? Here’s a breakdown of the relationship-specific reasons:
If your partner has a clitoris, it’s a pretty sure ticket to an orgasm. It’s not all about you, right? Your partner’s pleasure factors into how satisfying your sexual encounters are. A vibrator can make things much more satisfying for both of you. Many women need constant clitoral stimulation to orgasm and can’t orgasm from vaginal penetration alone. A vibrator gives you the option to stimulate the clit or the vaginal opening. According to one study, participants reported external stimulation to be the quickest ticket to an orgasm.
It’s great for foreplay. Some people, especially women, need a warm-up before diving into penetrative sex — or at least before they can achieve the big ‘O.’ Introducing a vibrator is a great way to get your partner revved up and encourage lubrication while giving your tongue and fingers a break.
It’s a pleasurable way to keep things interesting. Let’s face it: Sometimes, sex can get a little stale. Sex toys like vibrators can spice up your sex life by adding a little excitement to an otherwise rote bedroom routine.
It shows your partner you’re thinking about their pleasure, too. Sex toys don’t have to be all about one person’s pleasure. Adding a vibrator to your sexual encounters is a great way to show your partner (or partners) you’re thinking about everyone’s enjoyment, not just yours.
Using a vibrator isn’t just good for your sexual partnerships. It can also have sexual function benefits. These include:
Helping with erectile dysfunction (ED) symptoms. Yep, you read that right. Vibratory stimulation is a proven treatment for ED. How does it work? Experts believe penile vibratory stimulation works by stimulating penile fibers to release nitric oxide, which relaxes the blood vessels that supply blood to the penis. This increases blood flow and penis sensitivity, making it easier to get and stay hard.
Potentially helping with delayed ejaculation. Using a vibrator may also help with ejaculation issues. It might even help if you can’t ejaculate at all. According to one study involving 36 men, 72 percent reported restored orgasm, thanks to vibratory stimulation therapy.
Potential improvement with prostate issues. There’s limited evidence that prostate massage may help with symptoms of an enlarged prostate, including painful ejaculation.
Boosting sexual health. Vibrator use can also benefit your sexual wellness. Sex research published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine suggests that, for men in particular, vibrator use is linked to sexual health-promoting behaviors, like testicular self-exams.
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Tips for Suggesting Using a Vibrator During Sex
Ready to try vibing with your partner?
We get that it might be awkward to suggest this kind of thing, especially if your sex life has been pretty vanilla up until now. But there’s no shame in trying something new.
Your partner may even appreciate the suggestion. And who knows? Maybe they’ve been thinking the same thing as you!
Exactly how to bring it up really depends on your relationship. If you’ve been with someone for a long time, you might be more comfortable with bedroom convos. But every relationship is different.
Here are a few suggestions for how to bring up vibrator use.
Bring it up during convos about trying new things in bed: “Hey, I know lots of women use vibrators — you might, too. I’d love to try using it during sex together.”
Bring it up out of the blue and make sure your partner knows you’re thinking about their pleasure, too: “I was thinking it might be fun for both of us to try using a vibrator during sex. If you’re up for it, I’d love to try it.”
Another idea: Give your partner a vibrator as a sexy Valentine’s Day gift. If you’re unsure whether the gift would be appreciated, you can always bring it up beforehand to gauge your partner’s interest.
These conversation starters work for any type of sex toy, for the record, dildos included. Bottom line? Be open and honest, and make sure your partner knows it’s something you want for both your pleasure. If they’re not into it, you can always try it solo.
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How to Use a Vibrator During Sex
We’ve arrived at the fun part.
Good news: Vibrators are pretty simple to use. Turn it on, and away you go to Pleasure Town (not to be confused with Flavortown, USA).
Here are some tips for maximizing your vibrator time:
Communicate with your partner. Don’t just toss a vibrator onto the sheets and expect good things to happen. Ask your partner about what feels good and vice versa. Be vocal about what you like and don’t like, and give them space to do the same.
Wash your sex toys. Sharing is caring — but it’s also a potential hygiene issue. Have a sex toy-safe cleaner on hand for washing toys after sex to prevent the spread of bacteria and potential STIs (sexually transmitted infections). You should also wash sex toys before inserting them into different areas (e.g., don’t rub a vibrator around your partner’s anus and then insert it into their vagina).
Use lube. Depending on how you decide to use the vibrator, adding lubricant may help prevent uncomfortable friction between the skin and the toy.
Be careful when using a vibrator around the rectum. The vibes will definitely be off if you lose a toy inside you. Butt play is great, but not all vibrators are made for anal penetration. Did you know the top reason for sex device-related emergency room visits is vibrators lost in anal cavities? Uh-oh. If you want to incorporate anal penetration, consider a vibrator with a flared bottom to prevent the worst game of hide and seek ever.
Another pro tip: Have extra batteries on hand or charge the toy beforehand. Biggest turn-off ever? Being in the throes of passion when the vibrator sputters and stops working. Hunting around for batteries in your TV remote or old Gameboy is zero percent sexy.
Stimulating the clitoris isn’t the only way to please a woman or yourself. You can also use it:
Around the nipples
Around the genital area
In the vagina
On the penis head (around the base)
On the penis shaft
Around the testicles (start on a low setting since this area can be particularly sensitive)
On the perineum (the spot between the scrotum and rectum)
Outside and around the anus
Inside the rectum (assuming you have a vibrator that’s safe for anal play)
Anywhere else that feels good
By the way, penis-shaped vibrators aren’t the only option for getting a sexy buzz down there. Here are some male-specific vibrator options to consider:
Standing O penis rings. Standing O rings are — yes — ring-shaped vibrators that go around the penis shaft and deliver vibrations you and your partner can both feel.
Thrill Ride prostate massager. The Thrill Ride is a vibrating massager that can stimulate the female G-Spot or male prostate.
OMG Ring penis vibrator. The souped-up OMG Ring vibrator goes around the penis and can help you last longer during sex.
Bullet vibrator. Sexy and discreet, the rechargeable handheld Bullet vibrator is a simple yet powerful way to help get you and your partner in the mood.
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Using Vibrators During Sex: Final Thoughts
Using a vibrator during sex is a great way to spice up your sex life. As with any other sex toy, it’s essential to keep your vibrator (or vibrators — we love a collection) clean. And make sure to get enthusiastic consent from your partner before getting vibey.
Don’t forget you can also use a vibrator solo to enhance your masturbation experience. There are potential sexual health benefits, too, including helping with ED symptoms and delayed ejaculation.
If you’re experiencing sexual function issues, Hims offers erectile dysfunction treatments and premature ejaculation treatments online, following a consultation with a healthcare provider who can determine if a prescription is right for you.
To learn more about these treatments, check out our guide on what to expect from erectile dysfunction medication.
This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. The information contained herein is not a substitute for and should never be relied upon for professional medical advice. Always talk to your doctor about the risks and benefits of any treatment or medication.