How to Have Sex with ED: Tips and Techniques
Your penis gives off some serious Main Character Energy — both in and out of the bedroom. So when you have erectile dysfunction (ED) it can feel like your sex life is doomed.
But sex with ED is possible.
You can:
Be open with your partner
Master foreplay
Use sex toys
Explore other erogenous zones
Talk to a therapist
Try ED treatments
Make healthy lifestyle changes
Ahead, we’ll share how to have sex with ED and explore these pieces of advice in more detail.
Can Men With ED Have Sex?
Yes, men with ED can have sex.
Erectile dysfunction is when you can’t get or keep an erection suitable enough for satisfactory sex. That means your penis may not be hard enough to penetrate your partner — or you might be able to start having sex but go soft midway through the action.
Losing erections during sex or not being able to start in the first place can be distressing for both you and your partner. But that doesn’t mean sex is off the table completely.
You can get creative and have sex in different ways, and you can face the problem head-on and treat ED.
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7 Tips for Having Sex With ED
Keep your sex life going, even with ED, with these seven tips. Some suggestions will help you continue having sex with erection problems, while others aim to get rid of ED altogether.
Be Open With Your Partner
We know, we know. Talking to your partner about ED can feel as embarrassing as ED itself. But having an honest chat about what’s going on can make a difference in your sex life.
For one, stress and anxiety can make ED worse — and you’re probably feeling stressed and anxious about your ED. Talking with your partner can take some of the pressure off.
It can feel embarrassing when a guy can’t get hard, but if you’re in a long-term relationship, your partner will understand. We promise.
You can reassure them it’s not them and talk through ways to tackle the problem together. Turn it into a fun couple’s activity — maybe by browsing for new sex toys or trying new types of sex — to keep your sex life light and exciting.
For more advice, check out our guide to dealing with ED in a relationship.
Master Foreplay
There’s more to sex than penetration. Gasp.
If penetrative sex is proving tricky, focus on your foreplay game.
Foreplay is anything before the “main event” of sexual intercourse. It can include sending flirty texts throughout the day, making out on the sofa before moving to the bedroom, nipple play, caressing, massaging and oral sex.
But really, there are no rules when it comes to foreplay — now’s the time to get creative with your partner.
Foreplay can make you aroused and help you keep a firm erection during sex. It can also be a prominent part of your sexual activity — not something you rush through.
If you struggle with penetration or staying hard long enough, you can still enjoy sexy time together by spending longer on foreplay.
There’s even research suggesting that giving oral sex is linked to a better relationship.
A 2018 study found that older heterosexual couples with better relationship quality gave their partner oral sex more often than those with worse relationship quality. The link was there for both men and women, but it was stronger for men.
The lesson? Going down on your partner may improve your relationship — and you don’t need an erection for that.
Not sure what to do? Here are some foreplay ideas to get you started.
Use Sex Toys
You may have seen the bold claims online: Sex toys can cure ED!
They may not be that powerful — more research is definitely needed — but they can certainly help spice up your sex life if ED has put the fire out.
Here are some options to consider:
Penis sleeves. Penis sleeves are hollow sleeves you put on your penis during sex. They come in different shapes and sizes, and many feature added textural features like ribs. There’s not much research on these, but anecdotally, they’ve been shown to recreate the sensory experience of having penetrative sex, even if your penis isn’t doing the penetrating.
Penis rings. If you’ve never used a sex toy before, penis rings — also popularly known as “cock rings” — may be the most beginner-friendly. Penis rings are ring-shaped devices worn at the base of the penis during sex. The ring helps keep blood inside the penis, which can help men with ED stay hard. Check out our Standing O penis rings.
Penis vibrators. Vibrators aren’t just for the ladies. They might help stimulate a man with erectile dysfunction. One review concluded that penile vibratory stimulation may improve erectile function in men with ED. Another paper indicated that penis vibrators could help men with ED get an erection, but more research is needed. Check out the OMG Ring penis vibrator to do your own study on the matter.
Prostate massagers. Prostate massagers do exactly what their name implies: massage the prostate. There’s not much research into whether they can help you get hard, but they can provide an alternative place to explore, either solo or with a partner. Check out our Thrill Ride prostate massager.
Bullet vibrators. Got a female partner? Show her some love. Bullet vibrators are small vibrators designed for external use. Vibrator use has been linked to higher sexual desire in both men and women, and it may help people with anorgasmia (trouble reaching orgasm). Using a bullet as backup is just one way a man with erectile dysfunction can satisfy a woman.
Learn more in our guide to sex toys for ED.
Consider Other Erogenous Zones
When your penis isn’t playing ball, there are other erogenous zones to explore. Don’t neglect your neck, earlobes, nipples, testes, perineum and prostate.
Spice up your sex life by stimulating these areas with toys or your partner’s hands or mouth — or even with different sex positions if ED allows.
Remember to return the favor and explore new erogenous zones on your partner, too.
Not feeling it? Check out our guide on how to get turned on.
Talk to a Therapist
Erectile dysfunction can be caused by psychological or emotional issues like:
Fear of sexual failure or sexual performance anxiety
Anxiety
Depression
Guilt about sexual performance or certain activities
Low self-esteem
Stress — from ED or life in general
The bad news is ED can cause some of these problems — hello, stress and sexual performance anxiety. But these problems can also make ED worse, creating a vicious circle.
Talking to a therapist, either in person or online, can help. A therapist can talk through any mental health and well-being issues you might be struggling with and suggest helpful techniques or medication like antidepressants if needed.
You can also try sex therapy. A sex therapist can help you work through any sexual health issues that could be behind ED.
Learn more about psychological ED in our blog.
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Try ED Treatments
Most of the time, ED can be treated — and quite a few treatment options are available. No, we’re not talking about the herbal “supplements” sold in gas stations and sex shops.
Phosphodiesterase 5 inhibitors — or PDE5 inhibitors — are a first-line treatment for ED. They work by increasing blood flow to your penis, helping you stay harder for longer.
FDA-approved PDE5 inhibitors include:
Sildenafil (generic for Viagra®)
Avanafil (generic for Stendra®)
Vardenafil (generic for Levitra®)
Learn more in our guide to PDE5 inhibitors.
We also offer erectile dysfunction medication in the form of chewable hard mints. These ED meds contain the active ingredients in the drugs Cialis, Levitra and Staxyn® at different dosages.
You’ll need a prescription to get ED medications, so speak to your primary care provider or a urologist. To skip the awkward IRL chat, consider an online consultation with a licensed healthcare provider.
Beyond ED meds, you can get a vacuum erection device, which is placed over your penis and then pumped to draw blood to the area.
There are also surgical treatments for erectile dysfunction, but these are usually reserved for those who can’t take or don’t react well to ED drugs.
Create Healthy Lifestyle Habits
ED can be caused by an unhealthy lifestyle — or the health problems an unhealthy lifestyle can lead to. In any case, bad habits can make the problem harder to fix.
The good news is a few lifestyle adjustments might help you get hard.
Try working on these common causes of ED:
Quitting smoking
Cutting down on alcohol
Quitting drugs
Losing weight if you’re overweight
Exercising
Eating a healthy diet (add these foods for virility to your grocery list)
You can also speak to a healthcare provider to get tested for underlying medical conditions that may be behind your ED, such as diabetes, high blood pressure and cardiovascular disease. A medical professional can also advise you on whether ED is a side effect of any medication you’re taking.
For more advice, check out our guide on how to maintain an erection.
Get effective, affordable ED treatment... from your home!
Takeaways on Enjoying Sex With ED
Not only can you have sex with ED, but you can have great sex! So don’t give up on your love life just because erections aren’t as easy to come by these days.
Here are the key things to keep in mind:
Start with an honest chat. Talk to your partner about ED. Awkward? Maybe. Helpful? You betcha. Take the pressure off and discuss ways to tackle the problem together.
Try mixing up your sex life. Experiment with new toys and erogenous zones, spend longer on foreplay and give more oral sex — your partner can thank us later.
Remember, ED is treatable. ED treatments like Viagra, Cialis and sex therapy can help you get and maintain an erection.
ED isn’t a death sentence for your love life. We offer erectile dysfunction treatments and online therapy to help.
This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. The information contained herein is not a substitute for and should never be relied upon for professional medical advice. Always talk to your doctor about the risks and benefits of any treatment or medication.